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Saturday, November 08, 2008
hmmm.. results had been released.. PROMOTED.
but, im actually feeling scared, and even sad at the same time. everything is going to change. people come and go. friends disappear once in a while. is this what is installed for me in life? really hate goodbyes, really hate sadness.. well.. who doesn't?
now i've got to leave behind the J1 me and prepare for the J2 life. its not going to be easy. with so much responsibilities as a leader of choir. and even responsibilities to the class, to my friends. not to forget responsibilities to my studies and in my family.
well.. is this what i am living for? what do i want to be when i grow up? what do i wanna do? where to go? who to look for? who to turn to?
actually.. recently, i've been troubled by alot of things. i sometimes just feel like letting my emotions run at times. cos of all these responsibilities, i perservered, i controlled. but sometimes when i couldn't control my emotions, people dont understand. i dont blame them, cos what they usually see is the carefree me. i wanna stay that way, and i must stay that way. i must be strong [like what someone told me, he held back his tears for his aunt]. i've been to the point when i felt like letting go of these ropes of responsibilities, but i can't and i wont until my duties had been carried out.
i'll just perservere... control... although i may be troubled, but i dont really like to tell it to people. i havent found that someone whom i can really sit down and talk to about my problems. i miss my sec fren, i sometimes wished she was still there and can listen to my troubles or just be there, just like that day when i laughed and cried at the same time. [cos she actually was there when my life was at the lowest point, and i was there when her life was at the lowest point]. although we were not in the same class, we were still as close. now it seems like we're so near yet so far...
i miss you friend~
posted at : 12:35 AM
GEE GEE GEE GEE~ baby baby baby!
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